40 Days with God – Being There

How does it feel to reach a destination, to finally experience the thing one has been intensely waiting for all along?

Wonder, Fear and Gratitude.

We reached our hotel in Makkah at 5 am in the morning. What a feeling of wonder it is to be present in a new city, in a new world that is outside your daily world of existence; a place you have only read about but never been. The bus dropped us in front of our hotel and all along that street we could make out neon lights of more hotels. In front of each hotel on the pavement were piled up loads of luggage emptied by busses ferrying the pilgrims from Jeddah. Ours we were told will reach our room. There was the natural tendency to worry that something may get lost, that someone on the street will run away with our bag. Our tour manager reassured us that the hotel staff will take care.

I recalled what our trainer at a Transformation workshop I had attended earlier that year had said, “When you have 100% faith, you have 0% worry,” and realized how difficult that is in practice, especially when your possessions are at stake.

The Masjid-al-Haram inside which the Kaaba is situated is only 200 meters down the road we are told. You are in your hotel room with only a rocky mountain and some dilapidated buildings visible from the lone window, but to realize you are so near to your object of reverence puts the entire being into a sense of high alert. The test of patience and endurance continues – there are only 3 lifts to ferry 220 tired people over 13 floors, but you are automatically mindful of your every action. God somehow is more nearer than ever.

We did not want to do our first ever darshan (one call always write ‘sighting’ in English, but certain words in certain languages imply a connotation, express a feeling so close to the experience that no other word in any other language describes it better) of Kaaba in the exhausted state we were in so we decided to have some sleep, refresh ourselves and then visit the holiest of all mosques in Islam.

At 10:00 in the morning we are ready. How does a groom feel on the wedding day? A deep desire that nothing goes wrong for this only ever event of his life. There are great blessings to be derived from the first ever sighting of the Kaaba and thus in every training program before embarking on the pilgrimage we were given detailed instructions on how to enter the mosque, how to look at Kaaba for the first time, which duas (prayers) to recite etc. I picked up the book where I had written down all these things and did one more revision. It was time to fulfill the cherished dream.

The Masjid-al-Haram (haram in Arabic means ‘sanctuary’ or ‘holy site’) covers an area of 356,000 sq meters and can accommodate around 900,000 worshippers at any given time. Currently it has 96 gates (expansion work is in progress.) At the centre of this mosque, in an open courtyard (called the ‘mataf’) is the Kaaba – the cuboid shaped structure which all Muslims – irrespective of their sects, creeds and other beliefs turn towards when offering namaaz. Built by Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) and his son Ismail (Ishmael) in 2130 BC and later consecrated by Prophet Muhammed in 630 AD the Kaaba is the most revered structure in Islam not just because of its religious and historical significance but also in its message of unifying all Muslims in the worship of a single God.

The risk in following process very diligently is that you can miss out on the feeling. We entered Masjid-al-Haram from Gate No 1. The process said that as you enter the mosque you should keep your eyes lowered in respect till you come to the center from where you can see the Kaaba. Then slowly you should raise your eyes reciting your most cherished prayers because it is ordained that whatever you wish from the moment you lay your eyes the Kaaba for the first time till the time you blink again will be fulfilled.

The huge mosque is half empty at that time in the morning. As we enter with our eyes lowered we do not know how far the centre is. After walking about 100 meters we look up with a natural curiosity, see the Kaaba partially then look down again quickly because we are still some distance away from the centre which we now see is to be approached through a flight of stairs leading down.

Have I messed up my first ever sighting of this holy structure? Have I missed this rare opportunity in my life to fulfill all my cherished wishes?

The fear almost leads to panic. We finally reach the stairs, take the few steps down and right in front of us, in all its silent splendor is the magnificent stone structure draped in a dark black cloth (called the kiswa) with verses from the Holy Quran inscribed in gold letterings near the top.

I try to remember my choicest wishes, all the prescribed duas which I had repeated so many times and learnt by rote, but in that moment of infinite reverence I can’t recall any of them. I just stand there inundated with a huge sense of gratitude, of unlimited thankfulness to the Almighty for having brought me here, for showing me what I was seeing.

And then the tears flow effortlessly and naturally. And you don’t pray for anything else except for forgiveness. Because you realize that there is nothing you have ever done in life, nothing you could have ever done in life that would have ‘earned’ you this great fortune of being at this place. That you are here not on your merit but because of the sheer benevolence of someone who has the great mercy to forgive you and grant you this ultimate privilege.

And despite the harsh afternoon sun on your uncovered head, despite the heat and the exhaustion you just sit there sobbing your heart in your open palms oblivious of anything around you.

There is no greater relief than crying to your heart’s content.

[Next week we will try to understand ‘how’ a cycle of gratitude and forgiveness can lead to purification and lightness of being]

40 Days with God – Getting Away from it all

Advancement in communications technology means one can always stay connected from anywhere. It also means one can never get away.

A pilgrimage is about getting away – getting away from family, work, everything worldly and spending time in communion with self and God.

It is vital to plan that. Almost all my time before embarking on the trip was spent trying to bring my work to a logical end and hand over, visit my children’s school, ensure provisions are stocked at home for the period, pay credit card bills for the month and next etc. anything that was likely to come up in the next 6 weeks. The idea was 0 phones from office during the trip and the odd weekly call with family.

When I sat at Mumbai airport waiting for the flight to Jeddah the predominant emotion was not of awe or excitement but fatigue and a sense of fear – fear of whether I had prepared enough. Because the one thing one didn’t want to come back with after undertaking a journey like this was regret; the regret of having not given it your best.

For a person entering Makkah with the intent of performing Haj (or Umrah) it is essential to get into a state of ihram (consecration) at the defined meeqat or boundary. The boundary when you are flying in from India comes before Jeddah i.e. you fly over it and hence one normally gets into the state of ihram at the airport itself.

It is critical to understand the significance and purpose of ihram because it is amongst the three compulsory conditions for Haj. Ihram is derived from the Arabic harama (to prohibit) and in English means consecration or sanctification for a special purpose or service, usually religious. Consecration has the same root as the word ‘sacred’ and literally means to get sacred, to dedicate oneself to the service of God.

Hence before entering the state of ihram a person has to take a bath, clip the nails and remove the hair from the armpit and pubes. Then the male needs to discard his clothes and adorn two sheets of plain white, unstitched clothing, one to be wrapped around the loins, another to be worn over the shoulder.  The purpose of this is twofold:

First is universal brotherhood. Our clothes form the last vestige of our social status. By discarding our clothes we also discard our social status and thus when every Haji presents himself in only these two pieces of unstitched white all appear equal with no distinction of caste, creed, nationality or social or financial status.

The second and more spiritual significance implies the giving up of the world. The white clothes resemble the shroud or the kafan, the clothes in which we will be wrapped after death. We have already left behind our family, our work and our properties and wealth to undertake this journey. By wearing the ihram we get into a state of ‘virtual death’ and this state of the mind makes it conducive to distance ourselves from worldly matters and look at life for the temporary endeavor that it is. This mindset helps in recalling our sins and seeking genuine forgiveness when we pray at Kaaba.

There are thus restrictions in a state of ihram; you are prohibited to kill animals including insects, pluck leaves, remove body hair or apply fragrance, engage in intimate dialogue with your spouse etc.

There are also two virtues which are essential not only in the state of ihram but during the entire trip for the Haj to be deemed acceptable by God; patience and service. You are thus not supposed to engage in arguments and wrangling, be tolerant of any hardships and provide assistance to your fellow travelers.

The ideals seem desirous and the heart longs to follow them, but you realize what a challenge it can be the moment you land at Jeddah airport; it is midnight (2:30 am IST,) you are exhausted and desperately longing for your hotel bed, but there are numerous procedures to clear. And there are thousands of pilgrims from all parts of the world, each with a different temperament – quite, obstinate, short-tempered, over-smart, and each as tired and desperate for sleep as you are.

And the young men at the counter are college students drafted especially for the Haj season who have to stay at the airport barracks and report for 16 hours of duty. They are generally courteous and respectful of the Haji, but need their breaks and have their frustrations with people who have never flown before and understand neither English nor Arabic.

In this conundrum of people, process and paucity lies the true test of your character; how tolerant are you of the officer who walks out for a break just when your turn came after half an hour of waiting? How willing are you to give up your seat for a family and wait for the next bus to Makkah?

And then you realize that in such circumstances, which will be often during the journey, it is only taqwa – the continuous consciousness of what is right – and mindfulness – an awareness of your own state of mind – that will help you stay in control of your emotions and guide you to act in the desired manner.

And you realize how 40 days of such deliberate consciousness can help you imbibe some of these principles for your life hereafter; of how a pilgrimage has the potential to transform if done as prescribed.

[Next week we will realize one of the most cherished objectives of our journey; to see the Kaaba right in front of our eyes.]

40 Days with God – Neeyat, Taqwa and Talab

Everything begins with intent.

“Neeyat pe faisle hote hain,” (Decisions of the universe are based on intent)

My grandfather had quoted when I had gone to visit him at our ancestral village a few years ago. He is 85 and desperately wanted to attend the Friday congregation prayers but there was no male member at home to accompany him. As luck would have it I reached half an hour before the prayers. It was his strong intent, he believed, which ensured that the universe sent me just at the right time.

Poets, philosophers and psychologists have all talked about the role of ‘intent’ – whether in terms of belief or will-power or the ‘universe conspiring.’ But it is true that rarely anything can be achieved without having the right intent.

What is your intent of going on a pilgrimage? To become a ‘Haji’, or to comply with one obligatory requirement of religion or to ensure God is pleased with us so that our sins can be atoned – ‘rab ko raazi karna’ as our philosopher guide told us at the beginning of the journey.

What would I do if I wanted to please my boss? I would naturally want to know his likes and dislikes and base my actions accordingly. There is nothing different to be done to please God. And that is known as Taqwa – to follow what pleases God and to stay away from what would seem disobedience.

The Quran says about preparing for Haj, “…and take provisions [with you] for the journey, but the best provision is Taqwa.”

The origin of the word Taqwa is from the Arabic ‘waqaya’ meaning shield and is the verb form of ‘Ittaki’ meaning to be careful or cautious. Taqwa is thus being cautiously and consciously aware about God.

At the Leadership Lab (an Assessment Centre for Udaan, the Program Mgmt capability development initiative of RoW) which I attended a week before my Haj trip, the lead consultant, a retired Army General who moved into behavioral sciences, had emphasized the need to be mindful, of being in a constant state of awareness.

Imagine what would happen if you spent 40 days with the only intent of pleasing God, consciously aware of your every intent and action.

The third element which makes up the bhava or the mental attitude before a pilgrimage is a deep desire to achieve the outcome – the talab; for only the thirsty can be quenched, only the one on a quest can find. Talab is the Arabic word for quest or addiction. It is not a coincidence that the Arabic word for student (talib) is derived from talab.

Your talab to seek knowledge (ilm,) to perform as prescribed by trying to understand the ‘why’ will ensure that the elements conspire to make things happen the right way for you. Do you think my attending a leadership workshop that emphasized mindfulness just a week before my Haj trip was pure coincidence?

Thus with the sole intent (neeyat) to please God, consciously aware of our every action such that it is for the good and away from anything bad (taqwa) and a deep desire (talab) to attain our goal we embark on the flight to Jeddah (or to Medina as per the itinerary of your tour operator.)

Any journey undertaken with such preparation can only be magical.

[Next Monday we will aim to reach Makkah.]

40 Days with God – the spiritual experience of Haj

Everyone must go on a pilgrimage some time in their life.

We often read and hear the need to see the big picture, to view things from a broader perspective, to have a sense of gratitude – to transform. A pilgrimage provides a real life opportunity to make this possible.

When I decided to go for Haj (the obligatory pilgrimage to Mecca and Medina for every Muslim who has the requisite health and wealth) I had no idea about this. All I had in mind was that it was a necessary thing to do at least once in a lifetime and now that I was able to, I should.

The Quran says about Haj that whosoever performs the pilgrimage the way it is prescribed becomes pure like the day he was born. When I used to hear this statement in various sermons it sounded lofty, almost patronizing, the way all religious text appears when ‘read.’ The end outcomes of religious decrees are always either too lucrative or too fearful and most discourses focus on the outcome. What is rarely explained is ‘how’ our actions logically lead to these outcomes. What is needed they say, and sometimes quite conveniently, is the need to have belief or faith. But faith is easier said than believed.

Logic is the asset of an educated mind; it can also sometimes become its liability. When a logical mind doesn't see the ‘how’ it disbelieves the outcome. That is logical. The question that needs to be asked is, is it because there is no ‘how’ or is it simply because one has not yet understood the ‘how’?

During those 40 days of pilgrimage there were many moments when you start experiencing that how. I will, in the next few articles try to share that experience.

I share this because, irrespective of our religious beliefs, our age, education or financial background, there is universality in what we seek beneath all the obvious needs; peace and purity.

And there is no one more pure than a new born – s/he has no diabetes or blood pressure, no desire or need except for hunger and love, no pride or prejudice and only one expectation – to be attended to when cried. How does an adult who has ‘experienced’ life re-achieve this state of peace and purity? And how does a pilgrimage help? The answer lies in performing the pilgrimage ‘the way it is prescribed.’

A pilgrimage, as per Wikipedia is a journey or search of moral or spiritual significance. A journey generally implies travel and it is interesting to note that all quest for knowledge – whether spiritual or worldly has implied travel.  Why the travel? Travel reveals our true character. It is said that you do not know someone unless you have traveled with him. The Urdu word for travel (safar) is derived from the Arabic sufur meaning ‘to unveil’.

So what is the prescribed way for this journey? The next article will focus on how one should prepare physically, mentally and spiritually for a journey of this nature; a journey that you will supposedly undertake only once in your lifetime.

Dil Dhoondta Hai - Jurm-e-Ulfat pe hume log sazaa dete hain

The Hindi Film Song is a powerful tool to move the story forward, to aid the narrative, and a large part of that responsibility lies with the lyricist. The lyrics, along with the composition, capture the mood of the situation – the pathos of a tragedy, the magic of a romance, the anguish of a soldier’s mother, the playfulness of a lover’s tiff. Simple words, delicately woven by the hands of a master craftsman, set to soulful tunes, sung with emotion and picturised with a feel for the situation have created moments of magic that have endured time and cultural influences. 

Few years ago I had started a column Dil Dhoondta Hai to reminisce about such masterpieces and relive those magic moments from the myriad and prolific world of Bollywood music. Inexplicably there was a gap in recent years. But hope to restart the journey with the beautiful songs of Taj Mahal where an epic romance meets sublime music and soulful lyrics to create an everlasting experience. Read the summary and do listen to the songs to experience an era and its emotions.

Song: Jurm-e-Ulfat pe hume log sazaa dete hain (and others)

Movie: Taj Mahal (1963)

Director: M Sadiq

Music: Roshan

Lyricist: Sahir Ludhiyanvi

Singer: Lata Mangeshkar

Confrontations are the hallmark of drama and Bollywood has often used the song as an effective medium to accentuate it. The drama only gets more intense and the conflict larger than life when the setting is the royal court of the Mughal Emperor and the issue is love and lineage; the Emperor, angry yet restrained by his royal status and that God-like obsession to be just under all circumstance, the queen, not burdened by such compulsions letting her hatred show openly, the arrogant young prince very much in love and finally the subject of all confrontation, the prince’s beloved; poised, vulnerable and excruciatingly beautiful. What makes the drama so romantic is the seeming foolhardiness of its lead protagonist – a young woman standing up to an Empire on the sheer belief of her love.

Naushad (Mughal-E-Azam) and Roshan (Taj Mahal) both used the song very effectively to portray this confrontation, yet their style was contrasting. While Naushad used the high pitched ‘Jab Pyar Kiya to Darna Kya?’ with its echo and the ‘sheesh mahal’ glass effect building up to a high crescendo, Roshan used a more restrained and sublime style for ‘Jurm-e-ulfat pe hume log saaza dete hain’ to essentially convey the same message. Incidentally both the songs were sung by Lata Mangeshkar and would easily feature in her top 50.

The difference in style was probably necessitated by the different social status of its protagonist; while Anarkali of Mughal-E-Azam, was the daughter of a courtesan, Arjumand Banu (Beena Rai) of Taj Mahal is the daughter of the wazir and the niece of the queen herself. Prince Khurram (Pradip Kumar – later to be titled Shah Jahan in the movie after a victorious war in the Deccan) falls in love with her, but the scheming queen Noorjehan (Veena) is keen to get her daughter from her first marriage, Laadli Bano (Jabeen Jaleel) married to the prince so that she can continue to hold her power over the empire.

So Noorjehan invites Arjumand to stay at the palace only to put her under house arrest and keep a close watch on her movements. But the clever Arjumand manages to break free and uses the birthday party of Laadli Bano for a public defiance of the queen.

Dignified and composed like a royal heiress should be; the entire song is rendered by Arjumand sitting, emoting only by her face except for the closing salvo, the potency of Jurm-e-ulfat comes from its powerful lyrics. Sahir’s pen is scathing like a sword as it explores the various elements of defiance:

The mocking impudence of the opening stanza

Jurm-E-Ulfat Pe Hamen Log Sazaa Dete Hain

Kaise naadaan Hain, Sholon Ko Hawaa Dete Hain

The total commitment to Love

Hum se diwane kahin tark-e-wafa karte hain (tark karna is to forsake)

Jaan jaaye ke rahe, baat nibha Dete hain

And the complete disregard for consequences

Hume ne Dil de bhi diya, ahad-e-vafaa le bhi liya (ahad – pledge)

Aap ab Shouk se de den jo sazaa Dete hain

It is only here that Arjumand gives herself the liberty of a gesture opening the hands as if in a welcome. What can a queen do against a lover lost so completely to love?

The greatness of Taj Mahal as an album lies in the fact that each of its compositions is a soulful mix of music (Roshan), poetry (Sahir Ludhiyanvi) and flawless rendition (predominantly Rafi and Lata.)

Take the Prince’s lament on having to make do with only a photograph of his beloved:

jo baat tujh mein hai, teri tasweer mein nahee…

rangon mein tera aks dhalaa, too naa dhal sakee

saanson kee aanch jism kee khushaboo naa dhal sakee 

tujh mein jo loch hai, meri tahareer mein nahee (loch – flexibility, lachak;  tahreer – script)

The romantic jugal-bandi between the royal lovers

Paaon choo lene do phoolon ko inaayat hogi

Varna humko hi nahin inko bhi shikayat hogi

The trademark Roshan qawwali composition

Chandi ka badan sone ki nazar us par yeh nazaakat kya kahiye, eji kya kahyie

Kis kis pe tumhari nazroon ne dhayi hai qayamat kya kahiye, eji kya kahiye

Or that very popular ode to love: Jo vaada kiya wo nibhana padega

The brilliance of Sahir lay in the fact that he could be equally potent whether in romance, drama or social issues. His Aurat ne janam diya mardon ko mardon ne ise bazaar diya (Sadhana, 1958) or Jinhe naaz hai Hind par woh kahan hai (Pyasa, 1957) are probably Bollyowood’s strongest comment on gender bias and female exploitation.

In Taj Mahal, he uses the hapless beloved waiting for her prince to return from a bloody battle to comment on the futility of war and the vanity of the male ego. Khuda-e-bartar teri zameen par zameen ke khatir yeh jang kyon hai isn’t the most popular number of the film but is remarkable for its universal message. The questions are searching:

zamin bhi teri, hain ham bhi tere, ye milkiyat kaa sawaal kyaa hai? (milkiyat – possession)

or

jinhe talab hai jahaan bhar ki, unhi kaa dil itnaa tang kyoN hai? (talab – thirst, desire)

The appeal is philosophical and utopian

jinhe ataa ki hai tu ne taaqat, unhe hidaayat ki roshni de (hidaayat – wisdom)

Taj Mahal is an epic love story. Roshan and Sahir provide it a melody and depth that resonates its purity and longing more than its grandeur.

Shah Jahan would have certainly approved of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPqLT1XAv08

Jurm-E-Ulfat Pe Hamen Log Sazaa Dete Hain - 2
Kaise naadaan Hain, Sholon Ko Havaa Dete Hain 
Kaise naadaan Hain 
Hamase Diwaane Kahiin Tar Ke Vafaa Karate Hain - 2
Jaan Jaaye Ki Rahe Baat nibhaa Dete Hain 
Jaan Jaaye
Aap Daulat Ke Taraazuu Main Dilon Ko Taulen - 2
Ham Mohabbat Se Mohabbat Ka Silaa Dete Hain 
Ham Mohabbat Se
Takt Kya Chiiz Hai Aur Laal-O-Javaahar Kya Hai - 2
Ishq Vale To Khudaa_ii Bhi Luta Dete Hain 
Ishq Vaale 
Hamane Dil De Bhi Diyaa Ehad-E-Vafaa Le Bhi Liyaa - 2
Aap Ab Shokh Se Deden Jo Sazaa Dete Hain 
Jurm-E-Ulfat Pe Hamen Log Sazaa Dete Hain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFNlodmL6Vg

khudaa-e-bartar teri zamin par, zamin ki khaatir ye jang kyoN hai

har ek fatah-o-zafar ke daaman pe Khoon-e-insaaN kaa rang kyoN hai

khudaa-e-bartar teri zamin par, zamin ki khaatir ye jang kyoN hai

zamin bhi teri, hain ham bhi tere, ye milkiyat kaa savaal kyaa hai

ye qatl-o-KhooN kaa rivaaz kyoN hai, ye rasm-e-jang-o-jadaal kyaa hai

jinhe talab hai jahaan bhar ki, unhi kaa dil itnaa tang kyoN hai

khudaa-e-bartar teri zamin par, zamin ki khaatir ye jang kyoN hai

Ghareeb maaNo shareef behnoN ko amn-o-izzat ki zindagi de

jinhe ataa ki hai tu ne taaqat, unhe hidaayat ki roshni de

saroN mein kibr-o-Ghuroor kyoN hain, diloN ke sheeshe pe jang kyoN hai

khudaa-e-bartar teri zamin par, zamin ki khaatir ye jang kyoN hai

Khazaa ke raste pe jaanevaaloN ko bach ke aane ki raah denaa

diloN ke gulshan ujaD na jaaye, muhabbatoN ko panaah denaa

jahaaN mein jashn-e-vafaa ke badle, ye jashn-e-teer-o-tafang kyoN hai

khudaa-e-bartar teri zamin par, zamin ki khaatir ye jang kyoN hai

khudaa-e-bartar teri zamin par, zamin ki khaatir ye jang kyoN hai

har ek fatah-o-zafar ke daaman pe Khoon-e-insaaN kaa rang kyoN hai

khudaa-e-bartar teri zamin par, zamin ki khaatir ye jang kyoN hai

Glossary:

Khudaa-e-bartar = O superior God, fatah-o-zafar = victories and triumph, jaNg-o-jadaal = fights and battles, talab = thirst, need, amn-o-izzat = peace and respect, ataa = blessed (given by the grace of God, a blessing), kibr-o-Gharoor = pride (kibr = pride, eminence, similar meanings for Gharoor as well), qazaa = destiny, fate, divine decree, jashn-e-teer-o-tufaNg = celebrations with bows and guns

Naraaz to Nahi? (Hope you are not upset)

Sometime back on my way to office I was lucky to get a BEST Bus (Mumbai public transport) at Ghatkopar railway station, and even luckier to get a seat, though on the last bench. I was immersed in my thoughts about pending tasks at office; meetings to attend, reports to make, mails to answer etc. and unknowingly a small frown had appeared on my brow.

“Naraaz to nahi?” asked the conductor as he approached me for a ticket. A smile appeared automatically on my face at this inquiry from a stranger who seemed concerned at the worried look on my face. I assured him it was only day to day tasks nothing else.

The conductor left after issuing the ticket but that smile stayed with me and I followed the conductor as he went enthusiastically about his routine task of giving out tickets on a busy morning day and I noticed that he would ask that question to anyone who didn’t smile during that transaction. He would tell people not to worry, have a good breakfast, that their worries would not solve anything.

“Mazya bus madhe koni hi naaraz nako,” (I don’t want anyone in my bus to be unhappy) he told one passenger in Marathi. He had no solution to a problem nor did he attempt to offer any, but his sheer enthusiasm and a sincere desire to connect made everyone smile when they had to interact with him for the ticket. He had befriended a few regulars and they discussed other matters including work and family between the stops.

As the bus approached the station he went about saying ‘Thank You’ to everyone in the bus.

The one good thing about long commuting times in Mumbai is that it gives you time to reflect and I wondered what made the bus conductor do what he did. It wasn’t part of his roles and responsibilities, he wasn’t going to get an incentive or a salary hike nor any reward or recognition.

Yet single handedly and in a simple and effective way he was doing what many organizations have been struggling to do since the recession started setting in – remove the negativity and make people happy. The atmosphere in that bus was infectiously positive. That day the conductor thought a few lessons on Happiness.

The first one was that Happiness is also an attitude. The bus conductor had everything to crib for; a job that required him to stand all along, a salary that wasn’t exactly shattering and customers who would be cold and business like often, rude or irritable at times. Yet unlike most of his ilk he chose not to complain or comply but create his own world of positivity.

And that world of positivity was not just for him, he wanted it for everyone on the bus. That was the other big lesson; that Happiness comes from giving and not from an expectation to receive. One of the greatest lines written in Bollywood has been Jan Nisaar Akhtar’s lament for a hopelessly in love Razia Sultana (ai dil-e-nadaan aisi rahoon me kitne kaate hain / arzoo o’ne har kisi dil ko dard baten hain). Expectations and desires often lead to disappointments and even when they are met you only feel satisfied, of having received what you feel was due. Lasting happiness can come only from an act of giving not receiving.

And that for giving you need not necessarily have an abundance; you only need, what Stephen Covey calls, an abundance mentality – the thought that you have enough to share with others.

How these simple lessons unknowingly demonstrated by a bus conductor could be applied at today’s workplace where consultants and senior management have been trying to make a difference for years and been only marginally successful. And the one reason for that could be we live in a world of huge expectations; of big pay rises to fund large EMIs, of quicker promotions but reduced stress, of more amenities with lesser responsibilities.

And that the giving back will come only after we have received enough.  

Is it possible to overlook what we receive and think about what we can give to our customers, our organization, our community, our country?

Like that conductor on that crowded bus can we turn to the next person we meet with a frown on his face and ask, “Naraaz to nahin?”

It may be all that may be needed to bring about a positive change.

Chicken Changezi at Chawri Bazaar and Bribery at Ballimaran

I was in Delhi in the first week of December (a few years ago.) The winter had arrived just a week before and like a new bride during her honeymoon days was trying to keep everyone happy before putting on her true colors. The air was fresh and crisp and the mercury just enough on the south side to bring out the woolens without making you feel cold and desolate. It was the best time to be in the capital.

There was a pending task from my last visit to Noida a year and a half ago – to have Chicken Changezi at Jama Masjid. For a person who loves his food it was like a tourist having gone to Paris and returned back without visiting the Eiffel Tower. So on the Friday evening after finishing all trainings I along with my friend and local guide Sushant boarded the Delhi Metro to fulfill a long awaited culinary desire.

The Delhi Metro is a marvel. Right through the journey I tried to compare it with my experiences of the London Metro and there was not a point where it could be faulted. The same neatness and sophistication, the clear and regular announcements with the correct neutral accent, the vast and clean stations with huge escalators and the slick advertisements – even the posters of Broadway musicals were not missed thanks to the release of ‘Band Baaja Baarat’ that week; the same riotous colors, the same revelry.

As we stepped out of the Chawri Bazaar metro station though, it was suddenly a different world. It is amazing how a single entrance segregates two contrasting cultures; urbane and slick inside, rustic and grossly middle class outside. The narrow streets of Chawri Bazaar (‘Chawri’ having the same ancestor as the Marathi word chawdi meaning a meeting place) are lined with closely cluttered 2-3 storied buildings jostling for the limited street space with brassware, metal scrap and paper stationery wholesalers on the ground floor.  It is like traveling down Pydhonie in South Bombay (and you thought SoBo was only Marine Drive and Napean Sea Road) except that the ride in the human cycle rickshaw and the odd Bajaj scooter gave you a typical Old Delhi feel.

In front of Gate No 1 on the rear side of Jama Masjid is Al-Jawahar, which apparently got its name after Jawaharlal Nehru had dropped in for a meal. It is a typical Muslim restaurant trying to provide middle class ambience in a distinctly street-side setting with bearded, cap wearing waiters and air-conditioned floors for families and foreigners. The eighteen month wait was to come to an end and we immediately got down to business ordering Chicken Changezi and Dal Gosht with Khamira roti (a softer and fluffier version of the tandoor roti) and plain rice.

The food, for those who don’t mind their non-veg is a treat and I would certainly recommend trying it with the plain rice as it brings out the true flavors. But who said a foodler travels only because he loves food? The romance is in the setting, the atmosphere which provides the context, like the situation to a song which though complete in itself doesn’t affect you as much without its setting.

The narrow bustling streets surrounding the majestic and serene Jama Masjid which can house twenty five thousand people without even a hustle, provides a contrast that gives Purani Dilli its charm. Outside Al-Jawahar you are mobbed by ragtag women and street children who appear more playful than hungry begging for a glass of milk from the adjoining Halwai. There is a huge brass kadhai filled with milk on a segdi from which the owner of the sweet shop keeps on taking out the malai once every few minutes. And in large plates on the counter are the traditional sweets of Gajar Halwa and Moong Dal Halwa with a copious amount of ghee on top. As a small line appears on your diet conscious brow the owner assures you that it is pure desi ghee which never harmed anyone. That is enough justification to assuage your guilt already weakened by the delightful aroma and you end up tasting both the halwas and packing the Imarti and Karachi Halwa for the next day.

From Jama Masjid we took another cycle rickshaw to Chandni Chowk passing through another place of faith, the imposing Gurdwara Sis Ganj Sahib (built at the place where the ninth Sikh Guru, Guru Tegh Bahadur was beheaded) which is busy even at 10 PM in the night. We are dropped in front of Paranthewali Galli which as the name suggests is a narrow lane lined up with small shops selling an assortment of parathas that you can ever imagine. The Changezi Chicken having satiated the more primal hunger the artistic instincts took over and we went about looking for another legendary landmark of Old Delhi – Gali Qasim in Ballimaran which housed the Haveli where Mirza Ghalib spent the last years of his life.

No one can write about Mirza Ghalib better than Gulzar so I will not make an attempt.

Ballimaran ki mohalle ki who pechida dalilon ki si galiyan, Samne Taal ke nukkad pe bateron ke qaside..

Gudgudati hui paan ki pikon me wo daad wo wah wah,

Chand darwazon par latke hue bosida se taat ke kuchh parde, Ek bakri ke mamiyane ki awaaz,

Aur dhundhlayi hui sham ke benoor andhere aise diwaron se munh jor ke chalte hain yahan

Chudiwalan ke katre ki badi bee jaise apni bujhti hui aankhon se darwaze tatole

Isi benoor andheri si Gali Qasim se ek tarteeb charaghon ki shuru hoti hai, ek purane sukhan ka safa khulta hai...

Asadullah Khan Ghalib ka pata milta hai...

There is no daad, no wah wah today in Gali Qasim. In fact it is difficult to locate the plaque at the entrance of the Haveli. An old man who sells readymade kidswear on the street besides the entrance guides us to the place. The doors are firmly locked; the Haveli is open for public view only from 10AM to 5PM and it is already 10PM. I am happy to have stood at the same entrance where Ghalib must have stood so many times in his life but my friend obviously knows Delhi better than me. He engages the caretaker in small talk before actually propositioning him to open the locks just for a few minutes. I am more shocked than the caretaker. He is worried that we may be doing a sting operation (someone had done that a year ago and the caretaker was on front pages of all Delhi newspapers.) “Zabaan kaat do,” assures my friend and the caretaker makes a demand of `500. After some good natured haggling he settles for 200.

At 10PM in the night we get an exclusive guided tour of the two rooms that have been restored by the Delhi Government and converted into a heritage site – the remaining part is an ordinary two storied building whose windows open to the place where Ghalib must have once received his visitors. There is nothing much in those two rooms; some portraits, some memorabilia and a few original letters in Ghalib’s handwriting. But a fanatic doesn’t look out for reason; he has already been sold on the theory. He only needs an avenue to profess his devotion. To be confined to the same space to which Ghalib once was, to touch the same walls and stand on the same floor was the highest value that two hundred rupees notes can ever fetch in a lifetime.

Hai aur bhi duniya me sukhan-war bahot achche, kehte hain ke Ghalib ka hai andaaz-e-bayaan aur

As we boarded the heavily crowded metro at Chandni Chowk on our return journey both of us were alone, trying to decipher the couplets that a dying poet wrote from a decaying mansion, in a besieged city struggling to protect its sovereignty from an invading power.

The stomach and the mind were ruminating, their needs and desires fulfilled. What more does one need in life?

PS: A public note of thanks to my friend Sushant for providing me an evening I will remember all my life.

In The Line Of Fire

I had written this story a year after the Kargil War and it was first published in the internal newsletter of my organization. Today it is part of internet folklore.

Vivek Pradhan wasn't a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the First Class air-conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi Express couldn't cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin guy, it was the savings in time. A PM had so many things to do!
He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.
"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.
Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country sir. Today everything is getting computerized."
'Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a detailed look. He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stocky like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a Railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.
"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex."
"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence came into his so far affable, persuasive tone.
"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in."
"Hard work!"
"Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office doesn't mean our brows don't sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He had the man where he wanted him and it was time to drive home the point.

"Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centers across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database at a given time; concurrency, data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"
The man was stuck with amazement, like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination.
"You design and code such things?" he asked in amazement.

"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "But now I am the project manager,"

"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

It was like being told the fire was better than the frying pan. The man had to be given a feel of the heat.
"Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I don't do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. And to tell you about the pressures! There is the customer at one end always changing his requirements, the user wanting something else and your boss always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realisation. What he had said was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth.
"My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire."
The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

"I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire," He was staring blankly as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolor at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a…"

"I am Subedar Sushant Singh from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a land assignment. But tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier? On the dawn of that capture one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded. His own personal safety came last, always and every time. He was killed as he shielded that soldier into the bunker. Every morning now as I stand guard I can see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of his reply. Abruptly he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a word document in the presence of a man for whom valor and duty was a daily part of life; a valor and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station and Subedar Sushant Singh picked up his bags to alight.
"It was nice meeting you sir."
Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This was the hand that had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger and hoisted the tricolor. Suddenly as if by impulse he stood at attention, and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute.

It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS: Subedar Sushant Singh is a fictional character but the incident he narrates during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true life incident during the Kargil war. Major Vikram Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and his various other acts of bravery he was posthumously awarded the Param Vir Chakra - the nation's highest military award.