40 Days with God – The Haj Part II – A Test of Faith

The test of leadership lies in adversity. Does the test of Faith also lie in adversity or in those good times when every thing is going your way?

As per the carefully laid out plan of the tour operator we were supposed to take the train to Mina 1 station where our tents were based and where the tour operator had dinner ready for us, get refreshed and then walk across the street into Muzdalifah to spend the night as the rituals defined. Thus when we managed to board the metro train at Arafat overcoming the stampede at the station gates we thought we had made it. Little did we realize that the challenges had only just begun!

The train terminated at Muzdalifah 3 which was the station prior to Mina 1. It was then we realized that, that night the trains would only halt at Muzdalifah to prevent pilgrims from deporting at wrong stations accidently and missing the key ritual of spending the night at Muzdalifah. Our destination was only about 2 Kms from where we had alighted but in that huge crowd of people it was difficult to find the exact route. Two people assumed leadership of our group of 10-12 pilgrims including a few old couples who had rigidly clung to us out of the fear of getting lost in that mammoth crowd. And as it happens in the proverbial ‘two horse race’, they began to pull us in different directions.

Ego is probably the most difficult thing for an individual to overcome, even in a sacred endeavor that is supposed to alienate you from worldly matters. And compounded with fatigue, fear and a fastidious police which didn’t allow us to gather at a place and think it through, decision making was on-the-go. For us, the followers, the key decision was which leader to follow since each of them had a different idea of the right route to take. Eventually we decided that the most critical thing for us was to stay together rather than worry which leader was right.

One of the leaders managed to find the route to our camp. The other after a few urgent phone calls realized he had taken the wrong route. The group was with this other leader. We decided to spread our mats wherever decent space was available and spend the night there.

It is in such situations that one realizes the utility of technology. Though we were separated we could still call up each other or the tour operator and inquire about the safety. The problem was we ourselves were not sure where exactly we were to give any direction. That night we also realized how testing it would have been for our parents and grandparents when they performed their Haj without the advantage of mobile connectivity and why the journey was normally undertaken after you had finished all your worldly obligations.

One of the rituals at Muzdalifah is to collect pebbles for the stoning of the devil that has to be done for 3 days starting from 10^th Zilhajja. The ladies collected stones for us as the men went to fetch water and something to eat. Most of the night though was spent in probe rather than prayers. It emphasized that how a little bit of personal suffering or threat to security was enough to divert us from the core purpose. Sacrifice, though easy to understand and espouse, is so difficult to put into practice. It requires fortitude and a true and complete belief in God – that He controls everything and thus He will take care. Our task is to only put in well-intentioned efforts.

Through the night a few more of our touring group including one of the tour managers reached our location and we took a decision to leave early at dawn in order to reach our camp at Mina and avoid the rush when everyone would depart from Muzdalifah to the far end of Mina for the next ritual of stoning the devil.

We had failed to realize that forty million people were thinking on similar lines.

We appointed key leaders who would hold the tour flags high to indicate direction, tagged the older couples with younger ones and set off at dawn to reach our camp where we were to take a break to rest and refresh before embarking on the onward journey for stoning the devil.

As we hit the streets wave after wave of pilgrims started to pour in since everyone was moving in the same direction. Each turn became difficult to navigate and distance between the flag bearers and the followers started to grow as the aged failed to catch up in the huge rush. Everyone appeared similar, dressed in the two sheets of white ihram and the fear was that one missed turn would put us on the street leading to the site of stoning the devil. That would mean another 4 KMs of walk in one direction and in the current state of exhaustion that would have been impossible for the elders and the womenfolk to undertake.

The police there follow a simple rule of no-exception which is probably the only way you can manage such a huge crowd and thus if you happen to get on to the route leading to the devil you would not be allowed to turn back and take a different route no matter what your situation was. Turning back would be a sure case for a stampede. Military helicopters hovered on top monitoring the situation.

Navigating from one end of the street to another required moving across a huge current of surging population. Two women, one with a semi-paralytic husband held on to me as I tried to ensure they didn’t go out of step and fall behind. In the process I lost physical contact with my wife who had another elderly couple clutching at her arm. Looking over the crowd there was no way to locate her or know where she was heading and in that crowd and chaos it was impossible to even reach for the mobile. Technology had to eventually yield to Faith and in that helplessness where one couldn’t chose ones direction or stop and think one could only remember God with an intensity and depth that was not possible in normal times.

Don’t push, don’t shove, be courteous to your fellow Haji’s, allow others to pass are all prescribed in the rules for Haj and every sermon during your preparation days emphasized it. You had made a strong mental note to never forget them. In those 90 minutes that morning, when you are fighting to stay on your feet, you realize that greatness doesn’t lie in following instructions when things are normal, in giving when you have plenty. Greatness lies in staying with the principles during adversity, when your own security is at stake.

It was a lesson that was to come back to me many times later, to remind me of my weaknesses and the distance I still have to travel. It was my lesson in humility.

After an hour and half of struggle, guided only by instinct and my sense of direction, I and the three elderly people with me found ourselves on the side of the narrow street leading to our camp. It was largely deserted since everyone was moving towards the other end of Mina for the stoning of the devil. As we stood on the side finally to gather a few moments of rest, it felt as if standing on the banks of a huge river in rampage, unmindful of what it was carrying within its course.

Slowly we trudged back along the silent street to our camp. It felt peaceful after all the rush till just a few minutes ago. Some people had reached the camp and everyone had a story to tell. Meenaz, my wife, was not there. The old ladies with me held my arms and their gratitude was genuine not needing many words. That day I realized the true pleasure of giving. I suddenly felt everything will be fine.

Meenaz returned after half an hour. They had taken a turn in an adjacent lane and had to take a longer route to reach the camp. Everyone was exhausted and happy to just lie in their bed and be thankful for being back. It seemed as if we had been away for a long while though it was for less than 36 hours.

Soon though we would have to get back on our feet and make the journey for stoning the devil and then the only remaining mandatory task of Haj – the tawaf-e-ziyarat i.e. circumambulation of the Kaaba. We had only been through the first two days of the Haj rituals. Three more days were still ahead of us.

[In the next episode we will look at the remaining rituals of 10 – 12 Zilhijja and how they complete the process of purification and lead towards sustainability.]

40 Days with God – The Haj Part I - Purification

The obligatory Haj rituals are to be performed in the vicinity of Makkah during 8 – 12 Zul-hijja (the month of Hajj) which is the last month of the Islamic calendar. Only when you have performed the prescribed rituals on these given days are you said to have performed Haj.

We returned back to Makkah on 5^th Zilhijja after the 10 day stay in Medina – and it seemed to be a different place than what we had left. There were people everywhere, on the streets, in front of hotels, in temporary makeshift tents in traffic gardens and in the grand central Mosque – the Masjid-al-Haram.

Yet despite the huge crowds, when we returned back for the obligatory Umrah to Masjid-al-Haram on the night we reached from Medina, it felt like a homecoming, like getting back into the arms of Allah again.

Let me share some insights into how the Saudi government manages the large crowd. In 2012 around 40 lakh pilgrims performed the Haj as per the official version out of which 16 lakhs were foreign visitors while the remaining were from GCC countries who do not need a visa and just drive in or local Arabs and migrant workers in Saudi Arabia. All the foreign pilgrims are allocated to a Muallim – or a local leader. Muallim in Arabic means ‘Sir’ or ‘Teacher’. Each Maullim is allocated approximately 5000 pilgrims and during your stay in Saudi your travel and security is his responsibility. In the month preceding the Haj week and the month that follows, the government controls the pilgrim population by distributing them between Makkah and Medina. Thus some batches first travel to Makkah and then visit Medina, whereas an approximately equal number visit Medina first before traveling to Makkah. This is managed centrally by Muallims through an IT program.

Thus on any given day when a set of pilgrims is travelling from Makkah to Medina, an almost equal number is travelling back from Medina to Makkah and the 7 hours journey gives the hotel staff at both locations time to clean up the rooms for the new set of arriving pilgrims. However for the Haj week the entire population travels to Makkah only and hence when we returned back to Makkah we were allocated a hotel in the suburbs, around 5 KMs from the Central Mosque since hotel rents in the city during these days are exorbitantly high.

The rituals during the Haj week (8-12 Zilhijja) are taxing both in terms of physical effort required as well as due to the huge crowd and hence it is recommended to refresh and rejuvenate for a few days prior to its commencement. We spent 5 – 7 Zilhajja in our hotel room in Azizia (a suburb of Makkah) largely attending sermons on the Haj rituals, their significance, the travel and stay arrangements during those days and how to manage if one got lost. The mosques deliver these sermons in various international languages based on the nationalities staying in that location.

On the night of 7^th Zilhajja we took bath, packed a small bag with necessities, discarded our clothes and donned the white ihram once again and became ready for the final passage; the purpose of the pilgrimage. All the preparation, all the knowledge, all the insights resonated internally and nothing mattered besides that single intent to ensure every rite was performed as prescribed, every ritual measured up to the standards deemed by the Prophet and our Haj could meet the acceptance of Allah. The entire journey would then be worthwhile.

The prophet had set for Haj on the morning of 8^th Zilhajja, but due to the large crowd now we set forth on the journey around midnight of 7^thZilhajja. The Haji during these prescribed days has to stay in Mina, a huge plain about 5 KMs to the east of Makkah where more than 100,000 air-conditioned, fire proof tents are set up to provide temporary accommodation to the pilgrims for these five nights.

The 10 minute bus journey took us almost one hour since every road leading to Mina was packed with vehicles and people walking with their belongings trying to find their tent in that sprawling sea of white. As you look around from your bus it was the only color you saw – white. The white tents packed close to each other separated only by streams of the same color; streets made invisible by millions of pilgrims all dressed in the same two sheets of unstitched white – the ihram.

And on the lips of everyone is a single prayer – the Talbiyah, which (in translation) states "Here I am at Thy service O Lord, here I am. Here I am at Thy service and Thou hast no partners. Thine alone is All Praise and All Bounty, and Thine alone is The Sovereignty. Thou hast no partners.”

The central theme of Haj is Oneness – the equality of mankind, all dressed alike, all reciting the same prayer, united in their desire of seeking servitude and love of a single Lord. No soul can stay unaffected in that atmosphere of energy created by forty million people unified by a single spiritual purpose.

The 8^th of Zilhijja is known as Yaum-ul-Tarwiyah (The day of giving water) because on this day, in ancient times, the pilgrims and their caravans would drink and fill water for the day of Arafat to follow. There are no specific rites for this day except to offer the five mandatory prayers and spend the day in zikr or remembrance of the Lord seeking His forgiveness and help.

The beds in the tent are foam mattresses cramped adjacent to each other with hardly and space to walk and the toilets though many can be few at ‘rush’ hours so you do become careful while eating and have to plan your natural visits. However it is important to ensure enough nourishment for the two tough days to follow.

The second day of Haj i.e. 9^th Zilhijja (also called Yaum-ul-Arafat or the day of Arafat) is probably the most crucial of all days because it includes the mandatory rite of seeking pardon in the plains of Arafat. There are 3 mandatory and 6 obligatory rituals for the Haj to be deemed complete. If you miss any of the obligatory rites then you can still continue with the Haj by paying a compensation in the form charity (sadqa) or sacrifice of a sheep or goat.  However if you miss a compulsory ritual the Haj is deemed incomplete and one has to undertake the whole journey again. Being in a state of ihram, standing in the plains of Arafat on the afternoon of 9^th Zilhijja and the Tawaf-e-Ziyaarat (the circumambulation of the Kaaba during specific Haj days) are the mandatory rites.

The Arafat ritual is probably the most significant ritual of the pilgrimage. On this day the Haji has to stand in the huge open plains of Arafat from noon till sunset and seek forgiveness for all his sins. For the ease of the pilgrim and to provide undivided focus on this single act of repentance even the mandatory evening prayer (namaz-e-asr) that day are to be read along with the afternoon prayer (namaz-e-johar.)

We reached Arafat just after midnight and the few tents over there were dark since there is no provision for electricity. It didn't matter, because that day you only have a single worry; will I receive forgiveness for my sins?

What if you were aware of your many wrongdoings and given one chance to stand in court and seek mercy from the judge?

The plain of Arafat that afternoon is full of men and women from every culture, nationality, age, prosperity standing with their hands raised to the sky, unmindful of the blazing sun on top, the burning sand underneath, sobbing as they recall their sins, the sweat and the tears difficult to distinguish.

It was as if the entire journey had prepared you for this one moment; all that time to read and reflect, to be with yourself and God unpeels the outer layer of superficial modesty to reveal the garbage lying inside you – your truest intents for doing what you did and you have realized that these have not always been honest. From this acute self-awareness comes a sense of remorse that is deep and heartfelt. And when this opportunity arrives to get everything excused, you seek forgiveness as if nothing else mattered. That afternoon there is no one in Arafat who doesn’t cry.

And that afternoon you realize why the pilgrimage, if performed as prescribed, has the potential to make you as pure as a new born.

A loud alarm signals sunset. It is time to leave Arafat and reach the mountains and plains of Muzdalifah to spend the night, which is the next obligatory task. Imagine 40 million people leaving a place at the same time to reach another common place. The crowd, the chaos, the commotion can be unmanageable and we had a near life-threatening experience as we were sandwiched in a crowd of more than fifty thousand trying to enter the metro station through a single narrow gate.

The harrowing experience though doesn’t affect you. You have managed to board a train and get dropped somewhere in Muzdalifah (it is almost 9 KMs from Arafat and there are three metro stations for Muzdalifah.) You are separated from your group, you don’t know which place you are, you had nothing to eat since the afternoon lunch yet nothing matters.

All that matters is compliance to God, to dutifully do as He reckons. To, as someone had rightly said, trust the process.

[In the next episode we will look at the remaining rituals of 10 – 12 Zilhijja and how they complete the process of purification and lead towards the other important thing - sustaining that purity.]